


Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betel...Oh Shit

by rose-live (rose_live)



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beetlejuice (1988) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Demon Summoning, Gen, I'm...not sure how to tag this actually, also for the demon summoning bit lol, couple of purebloods name their kids after stars with no reference to muggle pop culture, rated teen and up because it's beetlejuice we're talking about, thus beetlejuice is summoned and wrecks shit as he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22458004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_live/pseuds/rose-live
Summary: Purebloods have a weird fascination with stars, and a couple students decide to summon a demon without properly looking into the consequences.AKA, Beetlejuice is accidentally summoned into Hogwarts through the unfortunate coincidence of a student also named Betelgeuse. Shenanigans ensue. Also took the liberty of what constituted as "unbroken."
Comments: 12
Kudos: 56





	Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betel...Oh Shit

The day that three children unleashed Beetlejuice upon the Hogwarts population conducted like any normal day. Double transfiguration, charms, and herbology. The three students in question, all unfortunately named after stars (which caused this situation in the first place) were entirely too curious for their own good. The leader of the group, a Ravenclaw boy with short cropped black curly hair named Pollux, had brought a book about demons back with him from Christmas break. 

“Are we even allowed to have something like that?” His classmate, a brunette with choppy cut hair, had asked him. Her name was Eridani, or Dani for short, and she was Pollux’s best friend. Their other friend, a boy from Slytherin, nodded his head along with her question.

His name was Betelgeuse, and this is the story about the day that Hogwarts changed forever.

\---

It was a cloudy Friday night, the castle looking gloomy against the dark sky. Down in the Slytherin dungeon, three 4th years sit in a circle on the floor. “So, you just say its name 3 times?” Dani asked Pollux, pointing to the demon in the book. 

“Mhm,” the boy replied, “works with any of them, really.”

“Wait, if it works with any of them, does that mean that Bloody Mary is real?” Betelgeuse piped in. He nervously fidgeted, thinking of the times that him and his siblings had called upon the demon/spirit, thinking it was a harmless prank. 

“Nah, I don’t think she’s real, Betelgeuse,” Pollux shook his head. Every witch or wizard knew that was just a myth.

Betelgeuse let out a shaky breath. At least he wouldn’t be haunted by a mirror spirit. Still, he was unsure about the whole demon summoning thing. Despite the reputation by being a Slytherin, that didn’t mean that he really wanted to just go around throwing around dark spells and summoning demons from the Underworld.

Besides the book, the rest of the supplies were laid out in front of them on the floor. Chalk to draw the entrapment circle, candles, salt, sage to clean up afterwards. Despite just needing to say the name three times, it was also suggested that they draw the correct symbols on the ground to have a larger chance of summoning the correct one that they wanted.

It had taken a week for them to decide which demon that they should summon. Betelgeuse didn’t really want to summon any, but had voted for one of the weaker ones. His friends though, they wanted to go big. The name of the demon was something that Betelgeuse couldn’t pronounce. So, he had been voted over. He really didn’t want to be there, but apparently the summoning required three people to be present for this demon.

Dani drew the circle as Pollux pointed out the things that she needed to change and to draw. Betelgeuse just sat there staring at the floor and hugging his knees to his chest. He said he was a big kid, but in reality he was just a scared 14 year old. Nothing like his older brother Ophi. He sighed, rubbing his finger lazily into the dust on the floor. 

After about ten minutes, the pair had finished the circle. They were about to light the candles but wanted Betelgeuse to help them do so.

“Hey, can you help us?” Pollux asked. Betelgeuse was off in his head though, and didn’t notice his friend asking for his help.

“Hey, Betelgeuse,” He said again, “Betelgeuse,” after his friend didn’t look up, he got up and pushed his shoulder and said one final, “Betelgeuse.”

With that name uttered three times, all hell broke loose. 

\---

If asked, they would all deny their high-pitched screams as the demon who shared Betelgeuse’s, at least the Betelgeuse that was their friend, name popped into existence. He looked down at the chalk circle, sighed, and used his wrecked shoe to smudge the edge and letting himself out. Surveying the three children in front of him, he scowled, “What’s with a bunch of kids always summoning me?” He leaned to the smallest one who was cowering inside his sweater, “your parents never teach you to not summon things?”

“Holy shit,” the taller boy looked at Beetlejuice after he finished his freak out, “are you a demon? You look more like an escaped Azkaban prisoner.”

Beetlejuice looked at them with confusion. What the hell was an ‘Azkaban?’ “Well, I’m the ghost with the most. Thought you’d know that since you summoned me.”

“Summoned you?” Dani finally spoke up, “We didn’t summon any demon. We  _ were _ trying to summon one from this book, but somehow summoned you.” She pointed to Alexander’s Guide to Demons. Betelgeuse looked at the book with disgust.

“That thing’s no more than child's play. You wouldn’t have been able to summon any of those demons successfully, especially not with  _ those _ instructions. So, how the hell did you guys summon me?” He pointed to the boy who was still cowering, “How about you, pipsqueak?”

“U-u-uh I don’t know,” He stuttered out, “My friend was just trying to get my attention for the actual summoning and you popped in.”

Beetlejuice had a good idea of what had happened, “What’s your name kid?”

“Betelgeuse?”

_ Oh shit, _ Beetlejuice thought,  _ this is going to be fun. _ These kids had somehow accidentally summoned him to a castle of all things. He could sense the other breathers around him, tons of playthings. And, on top of everything, they had zero clue on how to send him back.

Beetlejuice grinned maniacally, sharp teeth fully showing, “Oh kids, you don’t know what you just did,” he let a spark pop from his hand, startling the teenagers as the one who shared his name let out another squeak. “It’s show time.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought of this totally crack-fic while listening to the Beetlejuice musical (my new hyperfixation) and seeing a thing about how the pureblood kids in Harry Potter are all named after stars. Of course, they wouldn't know about the Beetlejuice musical/movie/etc so there leaves a lot of room for shenanigans.


End file.
